New Year's resolutions

My opinion regarding New Year's resolutions is very torn.  On one hand I love the idea of a clean slate, a fresh start, of opportunity.  On the other hand, I’ve never made a resolution that I’ve kept.  One year I even attempted to make what I believed to be no-fail resolution of taking a multivitamin daily.  After the bottle that I bought made my stomach queasy I swore that I would try another brand immediately but never actually did.  Even the easiest of my resolutions are forgotten and insignificant shortly within the new year.

I can’t help but think that 2013 is going to be my year of change, whether I want it to or not.  Since this feels all out of my control, I decided to once again make resolutions.  Since the multivitamin incident I’ve neglected new year’s resolutions, but I feel excited and almost a sense of craving for them this year.  I want change, I’ve been searching for it for months, but not necessarily the change that is looming right around the corner.  Call them resolutions, call them lifestyle changes, call them what you will, but in light of the new year, I have made a list of MY hopeful accomplishments that I plan to strive for.

Here they are:

- eat better (for me this means much less red meat, smaller portions, and incorporating more fruits and vegetables in my meals)

- practice yoga regularly (my goal is 5 times a week and I don’t care if it’s once a day and three times in a day one day and two times the next, I just want to make it more of a habit)

- read (I just finished a book that I received for Christmas and it felt like such a wonderful achievement after shelving this hobby for years)

- continue to nurture the relationships that are so dear to me (no explanation there)

Not a resolution, but the things that I am ecstatic for in 2013:

- Kate visiting in February

- Sarah and my trip to Chicago in July

- Jamie in my trip to Napa Valley in the fall

Happy New Year!  Best wishes to all for a wonderful year ahead!

Yoga me

A few years ago, before our wedding, I decided to join a fitness center and start taking some classes.  Most of them featured dance aerobics, which was ok, but I found that I loved the yoga class.  It was offered twice a week and I even remembering battling snow to get there.  For those of you that don’t know me well, I take every measure possible to avoid driving in snow.  After our wedding, life got busier, I got pregnant, and I canceled my membership.

Lately I’ve been experiencing some tension and it’s affected me physically – tight shoulders, sore back, etc.  During all of this internal reflection that I’ve been concentrating on recently, I couldn’t help but to remember the joy that yoga brought me a few years ago.  This paired with the tension, I felt myself being drawn back into the world of yoga.  I began my search for a yoga class offered locally. 

Obviously I started with the fitness center from all of those years ago, but since it has changed ownership and only offers a “Yogafit” class which was described as an aerobics class incorporating some yoga poses.  Um, no thanks.  My search continued to the YMCA and any other place that I could find by googling.  Most of the results were disappointing.  If classes were offered, they were always at the most inopportune times, during the week in the middle of the day.  I felt frustrated and discouraged.

I abandoned the idea for a little while, but I still felt nudged to pursue yoga again.  I found my solution within a blog post, Every Breath I Take.  It’s a virtual yoga class.  Perfect.  Although there is definitely some repetition, it’s not the equivalent of a DVD.  Different classes are offered during various periods of time and can be accessed as often and whenever during that period.  Bonus, it’s very affordable.  I am loving it.  I had an overwhelming feeling of contentment after my first session and it’s kept me grounded since.  I feel at peace with myself.

For the first time in a very long time, I am looking forward to something.  Every day I anxiously wait for the evening so that I can end my day with a yoga class.  It is my favorite part of my day.

Enjoy every minute

Most mothers of young children have heard a stranger’s advice to “enjoy every minute”.  This advice is usually given when a shower hasn’t been possible for days, my son is a whining mess, I desperately need to use the restroom, and the only reason that I’ve left the house is because I realized that we are out of milk.  Obviously when I am not enjoying that particular moment, which usually makes me feel guilty for taking any second for granted.

A couple of months ago Collin had his one-year-old wellness checkup.  I was becoming impatient in the waiting room.  Collin was just starting to walk and found a nice open space and captive audience to practice his new skill.  I was quickly becoming exhausted as I redirected him away from the pale, coughing, sneezing, and generally sick people who were also waiting for their appointments.  I finally settled him down with some toys (and silently prayed that those who played with them before Collin were also there for wellness checkups) and had a seat next to a woman that was obviously very entertained by my son.  She asked the usual questions – his age, if I had any other children, etc.  After I answered her, she started to say something else which I only assumed would be the standard “enjoy every minute” advice.  Instead she surprised me by saying that she remembered those days and how much work they are.  She briefly told me about her children and her references made me assume that her kids were only a few years older than mine, no older than elementary school age.  I asked her a couple of questions about her children, including their ages, and she replied “23 and 25”.  Right then I realized that she was reminiscing as she told me about them.

I took such comfort in our conversation.  I know that I’m not going to enjoy every minute, and that every minute isn’t full of silliness, hugs, kisses, and general happiness.  That those are the rewards of parenting, not the duties.  It’s craziness to expect that anyone ever could.

I also realized that the moments that I do enjoy will become imbedded in my memory and easily accessible in the future.  These are the moments that I want to relay to strangers that ask about my children in a waiting room.  This is also the reason that these strangers feel compelled to give such impossible advice, because those are the moments that they are recalling.  Even as they see my son throw a fit or whine excessively, they can’t help but remember the cuddles and cuteness of their own children years ago. 

I feel blessed that Collin was able to bring a bit of her past back to her.  It was such a gift to talk to someone that could see that I was not enjoying that particular moment, but still couldn’t help but take pleasure in it.  She made such an impact on my outlook of enjoying every moment with my kids.  Now I’m off to hug two adorable boys.